


A Note to Myself

by DWEmma



Category: Younger (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 19:26:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13060575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DWEmma/pseuds/DWEmma
Summary: After Josh's wedding, Liza accidentally replies to Charles's phone call from Ireland. Post episode for Irish Goodbye, Season 4, episode 12.





	A Note to Myself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Roga](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roga/gifts).



“What kind of generation X asshole makes a phone call and doesn’t leave a message?” Liza yells at her phone in the little room she seemed to have all herself again, what with Maggie screwing the bride’s mother. 

She looked around herself nervously, realizing that she was acting like a crazy person, and hoping that no one was outside the door. 

Josh had gotten married, put a ring between them, which was a whole other drama thing that Liza did not have the energy to deal with at that moment, and the “no mobiles” rule apparently applied to the reception as well, so it had been hours since Charles had called and not left a message. 

It’s probably about work. I mean, he’s back together with his wife. And it’s not like, it’s not like Charles has any commitment to her. Sure, every single kiss has let her in on how the uptight suit wearing boss man is clearly full of button ripping pure passion, but his girls are young, and Pauline wants him back. The call was probably about work. Probably. 

And what’s with phone calls anyhow? Sure, when Liza was young, she was all about getting a phone call from a hot guy. But after having dated Josh, she learned that texts are just so much easier. There’s no waiting to find out what the person wants to know. I mean, there’s still the dreaded “we need to talk” text, but even that is superior to a phone call without a voicemail. 

Should she call him back? Liza looked at the time on her phone. She tried to do the math, realized that she might have had a little too much to drink to do that sort of math, and then gave up and went into her world clock. 10:17 PM is 5:17 PM. So he had called her at...noon? Noon is a work call. She had taken off rather quickly, no notice, but noon isn’t a romantic time of day. I mean, unless you still haven’t gotten out of bed in the first place, in which case...

Liza shook the thought out of her head. Charles was at the office. At his desk. Laying her out on his desk...

Would more alcohol help at this point or less? No, Charles was at the office, finishing his day’s work, ready to head home to Pauline and their girls. Pauline was waiting in their beautiful apartment, helping the girls finish their homework, just like Liza used to do for Caitlin. Or maybe they’re walking back from ballet class, the girls in their leotards. 

Liza kept her mind focused on Charles’s family. That would keep the bad thoughts away. She should definitely not call him back. She was drunk, and after last night’s drunk kiss from Josh before he got married, the last thing she needed to do is repeat other bad ideas. 

She decided to stop fixating, maybe go have another drink. Liza picked up her phone and swiped to delete the pop up message that he called. If the alert wasn’t there to remind her, she could forget. 

Okay, why was her phone ringing? Liza looked down and saw in horror that her phone was calling back Charles’s phone. That wasn’t a swipe. That was a hard press. So very hard a press...

“Liza? Hello?” She could hear the tiny voice of Charles through the phone that she was staring down at. Liza blinked. “Liza? Are you there?” Should she just hang up? Blame it on a bad European connection? 

Suddenly she picked up the phone to her ear, and answered. “Charles, did you call me?” she asked, and then immediately wondered if her tone of voice was too abrupt. He was her boss. Actually, come to think of it, the fact that he was her boss is super inappropriate in today’s social climate. She should probably just hang up right now and pretend... “Liza,” Charles said, in a voice so husky and warm that she felt it tug at every single one of her erogenous zones. Liza felt her breath speed up and hoped he couldn’t hear it. 

“You called me. It was, they took our phones for the wedding: I just got it back. I’m sorry I left so suddenly is this, did you call because of a work thing or...”

“I can’t do it,” he said, and Liza was too drunk to pretend to misunderstand him. 

“What happened?” 

“Kelsey, or maybe Zane, I don’t know, one of them made it so I had to be on GMA with Pauline”

“That sounds more like Zane...”

“It doesn’t matter who did it. The audience cheered for the idea of us getting back together. The audience, which hadn’t read the book, and let’s be honest, most of whom haven’t read a book in the last year, were goaded like, well, exactly like what they were: a studio audience; they were goaded into cheering for something that I’m not sure that I want. That I’m pretty sure I don’t want.” 

“Charles, are you drunk?” 

“Are you?” 

“A little, but it’s 10 PM, and I’m at a wedding reception, which is a more socially acceptable place to be drunk than, are you at work?”

“No, I never went back after the GMA thing. I assume people think I’m reconciling with my wife or whatever they cheered for, and Pauline thinks I went back to work. I just was too embarrassed to face anyone. Though I didn’t do anything. They’re the ones who should be embarrassed. I’m the boss, god damn it.”

Liza realized this conversation was going to be for the long haul, kicked off her shoes, and lay down on the bed in the very spot Josh slept the night before. 

“Are you, are you at a bar?” Liza asked. 

“I’m at a hotel. I wanted to go to a bar where I wouldn’t know anyone, and then I realized I couldn’t face Pauline like this, so I got a room. Where are you?” 

“I’m in the spare room at his wife’s family home.” Somehow Liza couldn’t face saying Josh’s name to Charles at that moment. 

“What are you wearing?” Charles said, and Liza immediately laughed.

“What am I wearing? Charles did you call me in Ireland to hit on me?” 

“No. No. No I did not. And that’s why I’m not even mentioning my desire to rip off whatever it is that you’re wearing and lick every inch of your body because mentioning that would be wrong, and I’m tired of constantly being the guy who does the wrong thing when trying to do the right thing.” 

“So what are you trying to do?” 

“I’m trying to not...I’m trying to not do that wrong thing, but every time I think about you, you make my skin flush. I find myself moving my toes within my shoes because when I look at you I have to move something, and I can’t let anyone know. It’s entirely inappropriate for us to be involved, and I need to not have called you. And you need to not have called me back.” 

“Well I can fix that by hanging up.” 

“I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just, you know why this can never happen.” 

“Is it the age difference?” 

“Don’t. No. You and I both know that that isn’t an issue. It’s because I’m your boss, and every man in power is being taken down for doing exactly what I’m doing right now.” 

“Well you’ve never actually whipped your dick out of your pants and started masturbating at me,” Liza said, trying to laugh. 

“No! No. And I would never. That’s just disrespectful. I honestly have no idea why men would enjoy doing that. I’m not, I mean, this is mutual, isn’t it? I know I was the first one to kiss you, but that was after you quit, and the next few times you were the one who...”

“I was. Charles, calm down. No one is sexually harassing anyone. I’m a big girl. I’m on board for...for whatever it is that is going on.” 

“Why are you in another country right now?”

“That’s probably best for both of us that I am.” 

“I want to have this conversation in person right now.” “I don’t think we’d do a lot of talking if I could. And you’re still married.” 

“Am I? I mean, I know that I am, but am I? Or is she a stranger that I used to know. I know you. I don’t know enough about you, I wish that there was a book that I could read and learn everything there is to know about you. I know little things, like that the song they played at your senior prom was Take my Breath Away.” 

Liza’s breath caught. He must be so drunk that he can’t figure out years. Or was that what he meant by the age not mattering. How much did he know? 

“My babysitter’s senior prom,” Liza corrected him. 

“Liza,” Charles said, in a voice that was part warning, part annoyance. 

“My babysitter’s senior prom. I’m too young for...”

“Liza. Stop. No. I’m not speaking as Charles your boss right now. I’m speaking to you as, well, as a man. And I know you’re in your 40s.”

“How did you know?”

“Do you remember when you broke your clavicle? When I came to visit?”

“You know very well that I was too drugged to know that you were there. Did I say something?”

“Your hospital bracelet. It had your date of birth on it.” “You’ve known all this time?” Liza felt her eyes fill with tears, and she wasn’t sure if she was about to lose her job or if she was about to have a man promise his undying devotion to her for the second time in 24 hours, though the first time resulting in that same man getting married a half day after he said what he said.

“Yes. I’ve known.”

“Why haven’t you fired me?” Liza knew she shouldn’t be so direct, but there was no other side of the situation. 

“Because you’re good at your job, and because I’m actually relieved that I’m not...that I don’t have...that I might have, well, feelings, for someone so young. Because you, because we, I mean, we have so much in common Liza. I like you. Which is not to say that, I mean, I could go on for days about your legs alone, but your body isn’t the reason, I mean, it’s a bonus but...Liza, I like you. I like being with you. And even despite how complicated everything always is, it’s shockingly easy to be with you. I feel relaxed. I don’t feel like I’m performing when I’m with you. And I’m glad that we have...well a generation in common.” 

“I have a daughter in college. Her name is Caitlin. I have an ex husband in New Jersey. I just think, if you know, you should know.”

“And a 20 something ex boyfriend in Brooklyn. Well Ireland right now. With you.” 

“With his wife, actually,” Liza says, trying not to let the wistfulness seep into her voice. “Which is where you should be.” 

“No. No, I shouldn’t be,” Charles said, with more polite resolve than she’s ever heard him use for anything that wasn’t business. This wasn’t the anger he used when he yelled his jealousy over her confusing whatever it as that she had with Jay. This was just steady resolve, firm belief that what he was saying was true. 

“What about the girls?” Liza almost begged, thinking about how she waited until Caitlin was in college until leaving her husband, and how every stifling moment was worth it to give Caitlin a stable, if cold, upbringing. 

“The girls love you.”

“As their favorite babysitter.” 

“Charles, what are you saying?”

“What’s my pitch, do you mean?” 

“Yeah. Are you saying you want to get me alone in your hotel room, or my bedroom in Brooklyn, or in your bedroom after the girls are asleep with your wife in the guest room and, to quote you, ‘lick every inch of my body,’ or are you saying you want...more.” 

Liza felt her phone vibrate. She pulled it from her ear, and noticed that Charles was trying to FaceTime her. 

“Are you meaning to facetime me or did your ear...”

“Just press accept,” Charles almost growled. 

Liza presses accept, and sees him there. He seems to be wearing just an undershirt and his suit pants, and he’s sitting in a chair overlooking a view of the Hudson. 

“Oh good, you’ve got your clothes on.” 

“Is that good? Wait, no, I didn’t just say that. I’m sorry,” Charles looks Liza in the eyes across 5000 miles and 5 time zones, and she can tell how drunk he is. She can see how broken he is. She can see how needy he is. She has this urge to lead him into his bed and tuck him in for the night. What was with her having almost motherly urges toward men she usually has sex dreams about? 

“Charles?” 

“Liza?”

“When I’m back at work on Monday, are you just going to pretend that none of this ever happened? Or are you so drunk that you’re not going to remember it?”

“No. Maybe. But I’m going to write myself a note so I won’t forget.” Liza sees the camera go blurry for a second as Charles looks around the room for that little pad of hotel paper. 

“What’s the note going to say,” said Liza with a smile. “Here it is. Okay, I’m going to put you down so i can write. Dear Charles,” he said, while the camera from the phone looks almost directly up his nose. 

“You’re writing yourself a note that starts with Dear Charles?”

“How would you start a note to yourself?” 

“Fair point. Go on,” Liza smiled at the absurdity of the whole thing. 

“Don’t forget that you drunkly called Liza and told her that you were falling in love with her,” Charles said very matter of factly, like he was giving dictation to himself. 

“Charles?”

“Let me finish. You should probably tell your wife as well, since otherwise things will start to get awkward. Wait, more awkward. Let me correct that. Sincerely, Charles.” 

“Charles, I’d love to address the fact that you just signed off a note to yourself using Sincerely, but your note isn’t accurate.” 

“It isn’t?” Charles picks up his phone and the note and looks at both as best as he can. “I think it is. ‘Dear Charles,’ yes, that’s me. ‘Don’t forget that you drunkly’...Yes, I am very drunk right now.”

“It’s the next part,” Liza said, unsure about whether she should be pushing this, but wouldn’t it be more awkward if he read the note the next day and assumed he said more than he actually did?

“‘Called Liza’...Hello. I did that. ‘And told her you were falling in love with her. You should probably-”

“Charles,” Liza said, not wanting to hear the rest of it again. 

“Yes?”

“You never did that part.” 

“Which part?”

“You talked about my legs. You mentioned wanting to lick every part of your body. You even mentioned that you like me. But you never said--”

“I’m falling in love with you.” 

“Exactly, you never said that.” 

“I’m falling in love with you.”

“You’re drunk.” 

“I might be. And you might have legs that make me want you to wrap them around my body. And I might be hiding at a hotel from my wife, my ex-wife who thinks that we’re going to reconcile, but that doesn’t stop the fact that I’ve been falling in love with you since, well, since the Hamptons.”

“You said that it was purely a work vacation.” 

“You watched the show?” 

“It went a little viral.” 

“I’ve been falling in love with you since The Hamptons and even if you had no sexual attraction to me I would want to spend more time with you and get to know you better because you fascinate me.”

Liza paused, just looking at his face. She would see him sweating a bit and hyperventilating just a little 

“Just say something, Liza.” 

“Okay.”

“Okay to which?” 

“If you wake up in the morning, see this note, and don’t immediately die of regret and embarrassment, and if you really aren’t reconciling with your wife, and if all the things you’ve said are real things, not just drunk things, then yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes you can lick over ever bit of my naked body and we can see if, we can see if I won’t end up being a disappointment as a woman and not just a fantasy.” 

“Liza. You’re a lot of things. But you could never be a disappointment.” 

Liza smiled through the camera at him. “I’ll see you Monday at work.” 

“No, when do you get back? I don’t want to see you at work after all this.”

“You might regret this and not want to.” 

“Liza, I might screw everything up. And I have. Often. And objectively, almost every time we’ve kissed has been a terrible idea. But I don’t regret a single time I’ve kissed you. I’ve treasured those moments.” 

“Yeah. Me, too. I’ll see you Monday, Charles. We can, maybe, leave separately and get a drink after work. Maybe at a hotel...”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

“Well, good night, Liza.” 

“You, too.” 

And they hung up. Liza got up, flung off the dress that she’d worn to Josh’s wedding, and got back into the bed she’d slept in with the groom just the night before. And she fell asleep sexually frustrated, but too confused to do anything about it.


End file.
